I've been in a bit of a funk lately. I'm of the opinion that the world as we know it is going to end rather soon - perhaps in the next 15 years or so...not The Rapture, or anything so glorious, I just think we're nearing a one-world government and that the American way of life is starting to crumble under the vast pressures of materialism and power.
So...that can cause someone to slip into a bit of a mood. And I've been in one. Yesterday I ate some steamed snow crab legs and cheesecake and mulled it over. I came to the conclusion that perhaps it was not so much that I could happen that bothered me...it's that I rather want it to. And then I had to ask why....and it was very clear to me that I'm so bored with this life that perhaps it would be nice if something (or everything)fell to pieces...spiced things up a bit.
And then you think to yourself how utterly insane that sounds.
I went to Valley Forge today and visited where Washington encamped with his troops during the American Revolution. The sun we setting, the air was crisp and cool, and the leaves were all the colors of fire. I found myself closing my eyes and desperately wishing that there would be some wrinkle in the curtain of time and I would open my eyes and find myself back in the late 1700's.
Because back then, and, I assume, if the world ended; things would really start to matter. Life and death would be part of decisions, stupid people wouldn't make $100,000 a year, urban sprawl wouldn't be an issue, and I could farm away the rest of my life.
Sounds great. But ultimately...I think the bottom line is simply contentment. It's not as if life would be any easier (certainly not!) or any more important, it would just be more exciting (potentially, and perhaps briefly) and that seems better than what I currently have.
And thinking anything is better than what you currently have is probably a pretty good indication that in this mindset, nothing will ever be good enough.
1 comments:
And I might add, if you fear the future you will miss the joy of life today.
I remember years ago when we bought a van. We stretched our budget to encompass the car payment because we believed that it would benefit our family. For the first few weeks I stressed over what would happen if we couldn't make the payment. I realized that the stress I felt robbed me of the joy of the family outings we were able to go on, in comfort, because of this vehicle. Many great memories were formed with that car, and I would have missed them if I had been stressed over having it repossessed. The van was paid off and nothing bad happened because of our purchase.
I hear your longing at Valley Forge. I think we are tempted to look back at earlier times because of the nobility that has been awarded such events in history due to hindsight and selective memory.
Technology has radically altered our world. It has created different problems to solve. Our nation's standard of living has been enlarged.
I don't think the soldiers at Valley Forge or any other historical event understood their significance any more than we understand ours. And there have been countless millions who have lived their lives as nobly that we know nothing about.
I believe the things that trouble us are not so different from our ancestors. We want control over our lives, we want to know where our next meal is coming from, and we want to know who cares about us. I believe that throughout history we have all have shared roughly the same anxieties.
Learning to set a sustainable course of what I believe God wants to me to live becomes imperative. Becoming convinced and staying the course is essential.
I read about a nun who in all of her travels, when she would get to a new place would turn a stone over. She wanted to remind herself that the world was different because she had been there.
Matthew 6:34 So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today.
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